Saturday, August 4, 2012
Well, it's almost official. We're moving to Oregon in a few weeks. Me and Justin got back a couple days ago from house hunting. Or more like apartment hunting. We secured an apartment we are in LOVE with. Well, not the apartment, but the area, Troutdale. It's just outside of Portland and is so beautiful and rural I can't even stand it. It's like we're in the forest. Downtown is this quaint little street with antique shops and little restaurants tucked away. There's a huge raspberry farm across the street from our apartment complex and Mount Hood is looming in the distance. A couple miles down the street is the Columbia Gorge River and is beautiful, along with lush forest. and trails we are definitely going to go explore.Troutdale is more of a residential area, which meant on my list of like 50 places to go see, only like 3 were in Troutdale. The remainder were in Portland and Gresham. But that only makes Troutdale that much more appealing. It means it's a real town where people stay and live in real houses, not rentals. The apartment we found backs up to a river and beyond that, just a mountain side of forest. The kids are going to love it. I'm going to love it. And it's only 15 min from Justin's school. If we can stand the rain, we might just end up staying forever in Oregon.
I am giddy with excitement to move. I realized the other day that it will be almost a year that we've been without a place of our own by the time we move. We sold our house last fall and lived with my parents for a few months before we moved here to California to live with Justins parents in January. Words can't even describe the emotions I've gone through this past year.It has definitely been the hardest thing I've had to do in my life so far (knock on wood). Not that I'm not severely grateful for the kindness of justin's parents for letting us live in their small house with his younger sister, it's also a very hard thing. I feel like I've just adapted, but in the meantime I have changed into someone I don't really love. I kind of feel like I've lost a little of myself. I feel tense and stressed so much of the time, which is not me at all. I've had to work full time and days I'm home I end up sleeping at odd hours trying to catch up from the physical wear night shifts has caused. Which ends up making me feel guilty for not spending every second I can with my kids on my days off. I've endured, especially since I knew it was only for 6 months that I had to work so much, and Justin has been the best Mr. mom in this whole universe, but still. It's hard.
I realized how much this guilt was embedded when last night I dreamt that I was walking outside on a dirt path with Justin. I realized that we had just left the twins in their cribs for their nap at our house and realized they were probably awake by now, neglected, stuck in their cribs. I was in a hurry to get home and we just had to keep walking. I was feeling so worried and guilty and ashamed. Like an awful mother. On the way there was this junk pile and we heard a baby crying. For an instant I wondered if somehow Sawyer had got out and was in there crying. I looked and it wasn't him, but another baby and I grabbed it out of the pile and cuddled and held him as we made our way back to our house. All sorts of thoughts were running through my mind. Were they ok? Would we get into trouble? It was 5:00 and I couldn't believe we'd been gone since we put them down for their nap at 12. We came to our house and there was my whole family gathered out on the porch, talking softly and concerned. Apparently they had discovered what we had done and were going to report us to DCSF (protective child services). But I held up the baby that I had saved from the junk pile to show that at least I had saved this child on the way. It was awful. I'm no dream interpreter but it pretty much sums up what I've been feeling for the past 6 months. Bottom line, I need to be at home with my kids. So to say the least I'm pretty excited to move to Oregon and be (mostly) a mom. The plan is to get a job, but definitely not full time and only if we can find one that's part time or less and works well enough that I can be a mom the majority of the time and have the energy I need to take care of them when I'm not working.
Not that I won't miss California. I will. I will miss the weather, except for when it's hot and humid. I will miss Disneyland. I will miss having the kids being able to go outside every day in the nice weather. I will miss the opportunity my kids have to be around their grandparents who love them so much every single day. I will miss the hospital I work at where I'm finally making friends and feel a part of. But I am excited to start this next adventure. I feel the same way I felt right before I got married and we were getting ready to have a place of our own. It's like we're gonna be newlyweds again! Kinda...To sum up why we're moving to Oregon for those that don't know, here's a quick synposis: Came to california to take accelerated pre-requisites for Chiropractor school at the chiropractor school in Whittier, CA that would have normally taken 4 semesters, but took 5 months instead just going to class on the weekends, Jan-May. Thought about just staying here to be by family. Realized we did not love the school. Researched other chiropractic schools and visited and loved the one in Portland Oregon. Got accepted. Now we're moving there first week of September. Wish us luck as we prepare to haul all our stuff and family up there!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
7:45am: Wake up, have some morning milk then breakfast. As soon as I walk in, Cedez does the "eat" sign. Change diapers while drinking your milk.
8:00: Eat brkfst, usually scrambled eggs and fruit
8:30-9:30: Play around the house while mom makes her breakfast and cleans up.
9:30-10:30: Play time in your room with eachother. Gives mom a nice hour break.
10:30-11:00: Snack time. Usually oatmeal with a vegetable puree (like squash or pumpkin)
11:00-2:00: Nap time! Best time of the day.
2:00: Wake up, making the eat sign as I come to get you out of your cribs. Both twins wake up talking to eachother and playing in their cribs. Eat lunch, usually you don't have much appetite lately. We eat berries, greek yogurt, PB sand, diced ham, boiled eggs, or a yummy fruit/yogurt/spinach smoothie.
2:45-4: usually Hannah, Justin's sister is home and plays with them. We go outside and play with the water or go for a walk. Lately it's mostly just been playing outside cause I don't want to go walking to the park in the hotness.
4-5: Play time in your room with each other. Another nice break!
5:00: Dinner time, whatever we're eating.
6:00: Bath time! After Pajamas are on they love a little R&R with Grandpa on his lap watching You Tube kid songs/videos on his IPad.
7:00: Family prayers, story time, then bed. You both will go grab your binkies and blankets out of the crib when your tired, both for nap time and bed time. You love your sleep!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
-We got season tickets to Disneyland and have been going since January. Before I started working in March we literally went like 3 times a week. It's been a blast! We're a little obsessed. The twins actually really love it! I didn't know if they'd really get it but their favorite rides are Pirates of the Caribbean and Ariel. They both start dancing on our laps to the music with their arms in the air. They can also both devour a churro in one sitting.
-Justin is Mr. Mom right now and I have to say he is a good one! I usually work Sun, Mon night and he watches the kids while I sleep Monday day and part of Tuesday, then again on Friday when I do my day shift. Then Sat and Sun he has class like all day. The whole reason we came to California was so he could do these accelerated pre-requisite classes for Chiropractor school at the Chriopractor school here. So the 5 classes he's taking will take Jan-May instead of like 4 semesters worth (2 years) somewhere else. They're pretty expensive, and so will be chiropractor school in the fall, so it's wonderful financially that we're living with Justin's parents for the time being. Although it's pretty cramped in their one level small home, we are very grateful! Hopefully we don't end up hating eachother by the time we leave :)
-Justin will be done with his last class the end of this month, then we'll have the summer to visit campuses and make a final decision and plan for moving to wherever he decides to go to school for the next 3 years which he'll start in the fall. We are currently looking at Portland Oregon, Dallas Texas or possibly Davenport Iowa. It's such a hard decision to make! I just hope we make the right one.
-The twins are both walking. Mercedez is much faster and Sawyer gets sad and sensitive when he can't keep up. They still sleep 12-121/2 hours every night. Sawyer has almost all his teeth and they LOVE eating and snack time. Sawyer has bitten Mercedez a few times and left major teeth bruises on her. Poor girl. They get independent playtime at least 2 hours a day where they stay in their room and play with each other. It's a wonderful thing. They take one 2-3 hour nap a day. Also a wonderful thing. Favorite pass times include walks and playing outside with the hose. Mercedez hair is long enough to actually do things with and it makes her look so much older. Sawyer is still a good 2 inches taller than Mercedez. They can now follow directions, blow kisses, say mamma, dadda and bow-wow and sometimes "HH" which is hi. They can sign drink, eat, more, all done and please. They wave whenever we walk into the room or door. They can point to their hair, eyes, nose, teeth, ears, cheeks and belly button. Mercedez loves lip gloss, dressing up, lotion, and both love to soap up and wash in the bath. Sawyer loves books and will sit still with one for a very long time. Sawyer seems to be the more sensitive of the two at this point in time. He is definitely a momma's boy! He wants you to walk with him holding his hand and cries if you leave him. Mercedez on the other hand is always on the go and off doing her own thing constantly and won't let you hold her hand to walk with her. I am really loving this phase. They are just getting more and more fun and I love that they know what I'm saying to them even though they can't talk yet. I'll post some pictures soon!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Is it weird that I want to have a baby right now and want it to be a boy just for the sake of naming it the most awesome name? Yeah, probably. Having a baby just so you can use a name you love probably isn't the best reason to add to the family :) But really, Justin came up with an awesome name for a boy and now I can't stand it because I want to name our next boy this name (as long as it fits him of course). And no, I'm not going to tell you that name. You'll just have to wait until we have another boy.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Happy Birthday Mercedez and Sawyer! What a great first year we've had! Thank you for still sleeping 12 hours a night and taking two 2 hour naps a day! I hope we haven't traumatized you with all the times we've gotten babysitters (starting at only 3 months old) but it's just so hard not to when you are out like a couple of lights by 7pm. Get a sitter at 6, they play with you for an hour, give you a bottle, lay you down with your binkies and blankets and you're good for the next 12 hours. You are such good little babies! Mom and Dad have LOVED all the joy you have brought this last year.
MERCEDEZ: You have turned into such a little cheeser! You light up the room with your smile and giggles and flirty looks. You managed to poke holes in all of your right foot big toe pajama feet from doing your one armed, one legged push dead man's army crawl! Good job at figuring out how to REALLY crawl before you turned one. Just two months later than Sawyer. You love Sky, pointing at mom and dad when they come into the room, DANCING, clapping, eating whatever we're eating regardless if you just ate, your blanky when you go to sleep, walking with only holding on with one hand and reading books. Your very good at drinking from a sippy cup and would probably drink your meals if I let you. You are BARELY getting your bottom teeth in, which is kinda sad because your gum smiles are too cute. You're learning to not let Sawyer walk all over you and to fight back. Your cry when you get hurt is so sad. It's this high pitch squeal , with a huge pause and gasp, then another high pitch squeal. So sad :( You've started to cuddle more and will lay your cheek to mine or your head on my shoulder and it melts my heart. You've learned to do it after I'm stern with you to get me back on your good side. Works every time. You listen very well and are very obedient. I only have to tell you no once or twice and you stop and move on. Thank you for that. I hope you keep that up. You love yogurt and sometimes I have to trick you into eating other things by putting it into an empty yogurt container. You hardly ever cry when you wake up. We just find you playing in your crib or sitting in it looking over at Sawyer who's usually the one yelling for us to come get you guys. Getting you to giggle is the most rewarding thing and me and dad can't get enough of it! For a few days I thought you had an earache because you kept putting your hand up to your ear: toys, clothes, food....but then we figured out you just like to pretend everything is a phone. We love your little bird mouth and big firm cheeks, chubby thighs and squishy bum! You are our Sadie-pie, sweet pea, Sadies, MySadies, and Princess!
SAWYER: What a character you are! You are our little monkey, climbing in and onto EVERYTHING!! If there's a crevesce, you are in it! You kept trying to crawl into a small box head first but your head would hit the back before half your body was in and it was driving you crazy! You will climb into the small toybox full of toys and just sit there playing, or climp onto chairs and into cupboards. If we lay on the floor you are immediately flinging yourself onto us and trying to bite our faces off. You are the DROOL KING! Have been since like 4 months old. Your shirt gets changed at least 4 times a day because it's soaked. Your two bottom teeth came in at the same time at 9 months and I just counted 5 more popping through the other day. You were also full on crawling by 10 months and tackling your sister every chance you get. When you get really excited (which is often) you scrunch up your nose and breath really fast through your nose. Sometimes you breath a lot through your mouth, which is weird for a baby. But you must take after your dad cause he does that too. You're always quick with a smile for whoever you're with, but you're also the quickest to through a tantrum. You learned that when we started learning what "no" means. You test me over and over with things you shouldn't be touching: TV, stereo, standing lamps, dog food.....I say no and you get really sad and keep going back until I have to get up and remove you. During Christmas you wanted to touch the christmas tree so bad you'd start to shake. After a couple times of saying no and moving you away from it, throughout the day I'd see you start to crawl towards it, and I wouldn't say anything from the other room, and you'd stop, look up at the tree and throw your arms up yelling/crying and throw yourself on the floor, knowing you weren't supposed to touch it. Thank you for obeying and remembering even though you wanted to touch it SO bad! You are such a good eater and will eat so much of whatever I make you. You love Sky, your BINKY, giving open mouth kisses, grabbing and wrestling whatever you can, speedy crawling, banging on things, pointing at mom and dad when they come in the room, and eating. We've decided that Mercedez must have designated you at a young age to be the one to let us know when it's time to get you up from sleeping because you are always the one we hear crying or yelling, letting us know you're awake. You are so much taller and leaner than Mercedez and have consistently weighed about a pound more than she since birth. You are our Soybean, and our Handsome!